It’s come to my attention that, in their zeal to celebrate International Flag-Burning Day, some folks may actually be running out and buying flags to burn.

This kind of defeats the spirit of the holiday. By purchasing new flags, you’re only supporting the flag industry. That’s not going to help “burn the scourge of nationalism away”!

Much better to simply gather up any flags you happen to have lying around the house and burn those. Of course, this means that next year you’ll have nothing to burn. But that’s OK. If you have no flags to burn, you can simply listen to this fine anthem by the Troublemakers. [Buy their CD; it’s fantastic.] Listening to this music simulates the fun of burning real flags, and it’s much safer.

If you do burn some flags, try to make sure you have more than one country represented. It’s International Flag-Burning Day after all. If people see you burning the flag of any one particular country, they might get the wrong idea — specially if that one particular country is this country.

Also, many flags these days are made of plastic and will emit toxic fumes if burned, so please exercise caution.

PS: Speaking of the Troublemakers, we just got a letter from Dr. Paul. He’s alive and living in Pasadena and seems to be doing much better. I’m going to write him a letter today.