Joe Nickell writes in...
Whoa. This is too much. You gotta call him on this one, Bart. I mean, it's one thing to talk about how great juice is with dinner, or even to argue against the morality of using mind-altering substances. But it's quite another to disparage hemp/marijuana in this juvenile, uneducated way. At the very least, it seems that your dad needs to be clued in about the extensive history of hemp in human culture -- particularly its non-drug-related uses. There are some pretty concise run-downs of this info out there; perhaps someone could suggest a good resource to prove to ol' pappy that, contrary to his poetic license, hemp's "main claim to fame" throughout history has been anything BUT its use as a drug.
I know, I know; your dad claims to be aware of this stuff. But is he really? His poem, artistically stunning though it is, reflects a complete ignorance of historical fact.
Hey, wait a second...on second read, I just had an inspiration, B: you know how you've been looking for a second rapper for your band? Well, what about your dad? I mean, doing e-journals together is nice and all, but seein' you and your pop bustin' rhymes on stage would be... well, inspirational.
At least for one song? Like, a tag team debate over the value of pot, in rhymed couplets?
To which Eric replies...
I don't think he'd care, quite frankly. It would be like telling him that Satan has done some nice things, and is therefore not all bad. Let's face it, B's dad is a really weird guy, and his anti-marijuana stance is on the order of a religious truth, and isn't something that can be penetrated with reason.
Beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, so one might say that pot is ugly, but I have to disagree about the smell. Sure, when it's been rotting away in a wet clump for a month, maybe. I have a funny story, and I apologize to those who've already heard it. And I'd also like to apologize to the person whose crop was destroyed- I had nothing to do with it!
A few years ago I was doing field research in the Hoosier National Forest, where I was out hiking 7 hours a day, six days a week, with 40 pounds of equipment on my back (man, was I skinny!). I had a particular ravine to manage with a partner, and one day we wandered down farther than usual out of curiosity. As we emerged into a beautiful, sunny clearing, I became aware of a luscious scent wafting through the air. We were up to our armpits in some kind of bushy weed that had taken over the whole clearing, and I said, "Wow! What's that smell? What is this stuff?"
I had never seen it in all its natural glory before. My partner realized that it was that dreaded cannabis, and she panicked, warning me that we might get shot at if we didn't get out of there. As we took off, I checked the trees for snipers, but didn't see any. On the long way back to the truck, we discussed what should be done about it. I strongly suggested that we forget about it, since it was out of our jurisdiction for research anyway; we would never be bothered with it. She told our professor out of a guilty conscience. He then had to report it, of course, and here's my favorite part of the story. We had to escort the Drug Dudes to the area. There were four or five guys, all of them looking so tough in their matching dark grey safari suits and aviator shades, self-importantly scowling at us civillians. We handed them a map and a compass. All they had to do was walk down the hill, due east. When they hit the stream, they had to turn right (south) and walk another some yards and BINGO! We went on with our work, and several hours later we ran into them. They were completely lost and asked us to walk them to the place! HA HA HA HA! They had a detailed map, for chrissakes! What a laugh! Great Woodsmen.
Oops. This has nothing to do with Bart's dad, I was set off on a tangent about the scent of pot plants...some smell better than others, I realize. Hope somebody got a chuckle out of it!
To which Dawn replies...
well, maybe the "drug dudes" found the weed patch, began to destroy it by traditional government pot destruction method, they burned it, and THAT'S when they got lost...
i'm against supporting government efforts to thwart horticulture (say that three times really fast) when rapists are serving less than half sentences to make room for drug offenders. it's stupid. it's wrong. it really pisses me off. people who think we should be pursuing, apprehending, convicting and storing pot heads in very expensive correctional facilities have no concept of limited resources and or social threat.
sorry, little tangent of my own.
but , you know, back to the crop you discovered, it very well may have been a wild variety (which, around these parts, is usually not too good for smoking) so maybe your expedition didn't ruin anybody's day and served to demonstrate how the agents involved are seriously on the wrong track.