|June 10, 1991: Positivity and Paranoia|
Got out of bed at 8:15, did five laps in the pool. Cooked baked beans for lunch. (Recipe from the "Oats Peas Beans & Barley Cookbook" -- boring book, good recipes.) K___ got out her guitar and we tried desperately to fake "Teenager in Love." Lots of fun.
K___ was quite nervous about work -- it was her fourth shift at DM tonite. She got seven sales; I got eight: both under par. Dave told me that I might be moved back to Marketing, depending on my performance. Marketing might be good for me at this point. I'd probably earn more than I have been and I'd get a break from this Books program I'm so sick of.
I wouldn't be sick of Books, though, if my sales were higher. Dave reminded me that DM has been "carrying me" for a few weeks.
On the way back home, K___ and I discussed some of the mysteries of telemarketing. Seems to me there's two extremes toward which people gravitate: either they buy into the whole positive-thinking trip, or they go paranoid. Positivity scares me as much as paranoia; the plus-heads are like blissed-out mystics -- "Attitude is Everything" -- "Suffering is an Illusion." Julia S_________ would be a prime example, a true ghoul of the Smilin' Dial.
Rob B______ is just the other way. Quiet, affable, a family man, a solid conservative -- it was only recently that he revealed to me the depth of his paranoia. Apparently he thinks Maria is "out to get him," and out to get me too, because we're leftovers from the old management. He mentioned this to me in his smooth, calm manner, and it almost sounded sane at the time. But even he was aware that he was venturing out toward the fringe. "And that's not paranoia," he said to me, "because I've seen it happen before." Cut to a lighter topic. Very casual, very smooth, but oops, you've just been sold a bill of goods, and some very suspicious goods indeed.
It's just hard to believe that the slump in sales Rob and I have been experiencing are the result of active malevolence on the part of Maria...
When we got home from work our machine told us that Joe & Co. were up to no good, so we went over there and watched a porno ("The Bitter End") and drank beer and wine. K___ had never seen a porno before. It was very sophisticated for porn -- i.e., not very -- and there was some great satire/tribute to the Beat generation. I found the sex scenes to be entirely devoid of erotic content. Jodie had never seen "Joe's Turd" so I brought it along and we watched it too.
When K___ and I got back I ate some ramen (400 calorie a package!) and read to her the nightly chapter of "Walden Two." Got in bed around 1:45 AM.
(And somewhere earlier in the day I began laying groundwork for "The Fool and the King.")