Here’s an excerpt from the 1st District Crime Activity Report for August 2nd-8th, 2008, reproduced verbatim and without editorial comment:
Location: 400 Blk. N. Johnson St.
Date/Time: Aug. 2,2008
Type: Auto Burglary
Gist: The victim parked and secured her vehicle on 8-02-08 at 7;00pm, only to return at 12;30pm on 8-03-08 and discover the rear window of her Black Dodge Caliber broken and ransacked. Upon takin a brief inventory of the vehicle, the victim could only find missing was a bag of Cheetoos.
Description: No witnesses were found, the incident is being investigated