Comments on: A Note from Dad http://b.rox.com/2008/05/20/1554/ Life in the Flood Zone Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:14:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: lemming http://b.rox.com/2008/05/20/1554/comment-page-1/#comment-182355 lemming Sat, 24 May 2008 14:04:00 +0000 http://b.rox.com/?p=1554#comment-182355 I think one of the hallmarks of adulthood is recognizing that our parents are also people. Note that I did not say that this is easy. I think one of the hallmarks of adulthood is recognizing that our parents are also people. Note that I did not say that this is easy.

]]> By: Howie Luvzus http://b.rox.com/2008/05/20/1554/comment-page-1/#comment-181206 Howie Luvzus Thu, 22 May 2008 15:26:18 +0000 http://b.rox.com/?p=1554#comment-181206 "Damn your parents for having you, but bless you for having her." Just hope she's more gracious toward you! “Damn your parents for having you, but bless you for having her.”

Just hope she’s more gracious toward you!

]]> By: Vicky http://b.rox.com/2008/05/20/1554/comment-page-1/#comment-180514 Vicky Wed, 21 May 2008 12:05:10 +0000 http://b.rox.com/?p=1554#comment-180514 Don't think you're the only one that feels this way. Probably any intelligent person has felt this at one time or another, especially with the state of the world. Katrina has only made it worse. That combined with other family issues made me seek out a counselor, who recommended (OK...it sounds really new agey, but...) meditation. At that point, I was willing to try anything other than anti-depressants, which I had already stopped since I have been continuously trying to lose weight for the last 7 years. It actually helped! I'm not going to say that I don't sometimes feel the urge to snap at people, but when I do, I run home and light the incense! Don’t think you’re the only one that feels this way. Probably any intelligent person has felt this at one time or another, especially with the state of the world. Katrina has only made it worse. That combined with other family issues made me seek out a counselor, who recommended (OK…it sounds really new agey, but…) meditation. At that point, I was willing to try anything other than anti-depressants, which I had already stopped since I have been continuously trying to lose weight for the last 7 years. It actually helped! I’m not going to say that I don’t sometimes feel the urge to snap at people, but when I do, I run home and light the incense!

]]> By: spab http://b.rox.com/2008/05/20/1554/comment-page-1/#comment-180331 spab Wed, 21 May 2008 02:39:40 +0000 http://b.rox.com/?p=1554#comment-180331 I have some issues like you do Bart, but I must admit I feel, as Jon Nelson just stated, that having a child has done wonders on me. It's not all about you anymore, it's about her. That can take a load off of something that might have been weighing you down for years. Damn your parents for having you, but bless you for having her. ;) I have some issues like you do Bart, but I must admit I feel, as Jon Nelson just stated, that having a child has done wonders on me. It’s not all about you anymore, it’s about her. That can take a load off of something that might have been weighing you down for years. Damn your parents for having you, but bless you for having her. ;)

]]> By: Jon Nelson http://b.rox.com/2008/05/20/1554/comment-page-1/#comment-180283 Jon Nelson Wed, 21 May 2008 02:06:10 +0000 http://b.rox.com/?p=1554#comment-180283 Being a parent will straighten out a lot of your parent/child issues. My parenting experience is limited to a few years as a step parent to a little girl, but those few years generated several crucial insights. I'll never be pals with my dad, but we can talk, and that has a lot to do with some calls I had to make, apologizing for my youthful behavior and explaining that I finally understood things from his point of view. I should also say that the little girl would never have been in my life had it not been for some hard work in therapy and in recovery from alcoholism, but that's just me. Being a parent will straighten out a lot of your parent/child issues. My parenting experience is limited to a few years as a step parent to a little girl, but those few years generated several crucial insights. I’ll never be pals with my dad, but we can talk, and that has a lot to do with some calls I had to make, apologizing for my youthful behavior and explaining that I finally understood things from his point of view. I should also say that the little girl would never have been in my life had it not been for some hard work in therapy and in recovery from alcoholism, but that’s just me.

]]> By: PJ http://b.rox.com/2008/05/20/1554/comment-page-1/#comment-179967 PJ Tue, 20 May 2008 16:12:58 +0000 http://b.rox.com/?p=1554#comment-179967 It would not be a bad idea to consider therapy to work through those feelings B. You've got the insurance to cover it if you can find someone competent in all that mess. The stuff I learned about myself made parenting easier and helped me get rid of a lot of anger and resentment about New Orleans, but also, let's be honest, becoming a dad decreases our ability to be creative people in the ways we are used to. When I quit drinking I did it because it was necessary to my emotional survival. It wasn't killing me physically, but it was making it hard for me to draw the line. What line? The ability to change what I can, accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference. Boy when I was able to let go of anger and disappointment at the things I could not change it lifted a huge weight off my heart and I felt better instantly. Post K New Orleans is a difficult mine field of emotions, and I've got my share. Last week I said good bye to an old friend who succumbed to years of drug abuse. Mourning him has made me realize that I had created a room inside my heart where I stored and nurtured my darkest emotions. I left that service more energized about my life and the goals I have set for my future and that of my family. Father's day is coming up. Open up that room and let go if you can. That is my hope for you, Bart. I recall what Father Linden told me, it takes real courage to allow yourself to be the center of a battle. Let me add that battle is for your own survival and those that matter most to you. It would not be a bad idea to consider therapy to work through those feelings B. You’ve got the insurance to cover it if you can find someone competent in all that mess. The stuff I learned about myself made parenting easier and helped me get rid of a lot of anger and resentment about New Orleans, but also, let’s be honest, becoming a dad decreases our ability to be creative people in the ways we are used to.

When I quit drinking I did it because it was necessary to my emotional survival. It wasn’t killing me physically, but it was making it hard for me to draw the line. What line?

The ability to change what I can, accept the things I can’t, and the wisdom to know the difference. Boy when I was able to let go of anger and disappointment at the things I could not change it lifted a huge weight off my heart and I felt better instantly. Post K New Orleans is a difficult mine field of emotions, and I’ve got my share.

Last week I said good bye to an old friend who succumbed to years of drug abuse. Mourning him has made me realize that I had created a room inside my heart where I stored and nurtured my darkest emotions. I left that service more energized about my life and the goals I have set for my future and that of my family. Father’s day is coming up. Open up that room and let go if you can. That is my hope for you, Bart. I recall what Father Linden told me, it takes real courage to allow yourself to be the center of a battle. Let me add that battle is for your own survival and those that matter most to you.

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