Comments on: The Third Stage of Advanced Denial http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/ Life in the Flood Zone Fri, 12 Mar 2010 21:39:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Are the kids alright? « HammHawk http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/comment-page-1/#comment-156107 Are the kids alright? « HammHawk Thu, 13 Dec 2007 16:55:13 +0000 http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/#comment-156107 [...] I don’t know if someone at the Onion got knocked up recently, but given B’s new stage, I thought I’d pass along a few choice recent submissions and a couple [...] [...] I don’t know if someone at the Onion got knocked up recently, but given B’s new stage, I thought I’d pass along a few choice recent submissions and a couple [...]

]]> By: Stacey http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/comment-page-1/#comment-155609 Stacey Sun, 09 Dec 2007 19:02:13 +0000 http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/#comment-155609 I remember a moment before I delivered my OB asked me if I was ready to be a parent. The word "parent" made me laugh for about a nanosecond. I wasn't ready either until about two weeks before my son was born, I think I knew he was coming even though he was six weeks early. I went through my "nesting" phase. The most important thing to have gathered is your hospital bag in the trunk with a camera, baby book (for baby's footprints), newborn clothes and a set of clothes for mom... some pjs and maybe a dress to go home in. Oh, and lip balm and a lollipop. They don't let you have food or water during delivery, and it helped to have these. I remember a moment before I delivered my OB asked me if I was ready to be a parent. The word “parent” made me laugh for about a nanosecond. I wasn’t ready either until about two weeks before my son was born, I think I knew he was coming even though he was six weeks early. I went through my “nesting” phase. The most important thing to have gathered is your hospital bag in the trunk with a camera, baby book (for baby’s footprints), newborn clothes and a set of clothes for mom… some pjs and maybe a dress to go home in. Oh, and lip balm and a lollipop. They don’t let you have food or water during delivery, and it helped to have these.

]]> By: Pistolette http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/comment-page-1/#comment-155541 Pistolette Sun, 09 Dec 2007 00:30:29 +0000 http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/#comment-155541 Glad I'm not the only one who doesn't bounce around with the annoying baby glow. While I'm excited about getting the kid, I hate being pregnant. My hubby is very supportive, but he misses the old me - the one who only needed 3 hours of sleep and could out-drink an old irishman ;-) I have about 2 months left and I can't wait to get my body back from the little parasite. Glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t bounce around with the annoying baby glow. While I’m excited about getting the kid, I hate being pregnant. My hubby is very supportive, but he misses the old me – the one who only needed 3 hours of sleep and could out-drink an old irishman ;-) I have about 2 months left and I can’t wait to get my body back from the little parasite.

]]> By: Ray http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/comment-page-1/#comment-155511 Ray Sat, 08 Dec 2007 16:26:02 +0000 http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/#comment-155511 If there's a book you want to read now, while you have time, it's a good book on how to care for a newborn. Because once the spawn is here, you won't have time to read it, and you're going to need a reference every time something weird happens in the middle of the night and you don't know whether to call a doctor or call grandma. Also, last chance to go out to see movies in the theater for a while. Make use of it. If there’s a book you want to read now, while you have time, it’s a good book on how to care for a newborn. Because once the spawn is here, you won’t have time to read it, and you’re going to need a reference every time something weird happens in the middle of the night and you don’t know whether to call a doctor or call grandma.

Also, last chance to go out to see movies in the theater for a while. Make use of it.

]]> By: ashley http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/comment-page-1/#comment-155497 ashley Sat, 08 Dec 2007 12:40:13 +0000 http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/#comment-155497 So much for "the horny trimester". Now it's the "damn, you're big" trimester. Self-editing, btw, is good. So much for “the horny trimester”. Now it’s the “damn, you’re big” trimester. Self-editing, btw, is good.

]]> By: Karen http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/comment-page-1/#comment-155466 Karen Sat, 08 Dec 2007 04:52:36 +0000 http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/#comment-155466 My daughter is 17 and I am entering the final phase of denial as she plans to leave for college. My daughter is 17 and I am entering the final phase of denial as she plans to leave for college.

]]> By: BanzaiBill http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/comment-page-1/#comment-155456 BanzaiBill Sat, 08 Dec 2007 02:32:11 +0000 http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/#comment-155456 B, It's all good. It's a wonderful experience. Moody, though--you haven't seen moody yet ;) But, it's all good. Our youngest, Devin, is a Touro baby--and he'll be celebrating his fourth birthday tomorrow. Time goes by so very fast. Enjoy the whole experience. Banzai B,
It’s all good. It’s a wonderful experience. Moody, though–you haven’t seen moody yet ;) But, it’s all good. Our youngest, Devin, is a Touro baby–and he’ll be celebrating his fourth birthday tomorrow. Time goes by so very fast. Enjoy the whole experience. Banzai

]]> By: Joe Nickell http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/comment-page-1/#comment-155436 Joe Nickell Fri, 07 Dec 2007 22:42:17 +0000 http://b.rox.com/2007/12/07/third-stage-of-advanced-denial/#comment-155436 I think I mentioned to you previously, Bart, that DaLynn (my wife, for those who don't know) wasn't particularly thrilled about being pregnant. In fact, it would not be a stretch to say that she was full of fear and trepidation until pretty much the day Julian was born. It bothered her counselor that she kept calling the baby in her belly "the alien." It bothered DaLynn when strangers would come up, touch her belly, and say things like, "oh, you must be so thrilled." I'd hazard to say that it's an even more difficult thing for strangers to understand when a woman refuses burble about her pregnancy than when a man refuses to burble (sorry about that clunky construction; hopefully you know what I'm sayin'). All that changed the moment DaLynn grabbed that baby from the midwife. I could see it in her eyes. It was, frankly, an immediate and complete and really pretty astonishing transformation. She's been an amazing mom. Anyway, I'm not trying to sidetrack from your experiences; rather, to say that you're not alone in your trepidations and feelings that it's not quite really real. I remember taking photos of DaLynn just a few days before the baby was born, watching the bulge move around, thinking, I know there's a baby in there, but I don't feel like a dad yet. It was still very abstract. You could call it denial. You could also simply call it the reality of transition: you're not there yet, but you see the big change coming. Try to enjoy where you are. These are your last days as two. I don't know if I ever shared this with you, but I did write a column on a topic pretty close to this. Hope you enjoy; it's <a href="http://missoulian.com/articles/2007/04/17/entertainer/nickell.txt" rel="nofollow">here.</a> I think I mentioned to you previously, Bart, that DaLynn (my wife, for those who don’t know) wasn’t particularly thrilled about being pregnant. In fact, it would not be a stretch to say that she was full of fear and trepidation until pretty much the day Julian was born. It bothered her counselor that she kept calling the baby in her belly “the alien.” It bothered DaLynn when strangers would come up, touch her belly, and say things like, “oh, you must be so thrilled.”

I’d hazard to say that it’s an even more difficult thing for strangers to understand when a woman refuses burble about her pregnancy than when a man refuses to burble (sorry about that clunky construction; hopefully you know what I’m sayin’).

All that changed the moment DaLynn grabbed that baby from the midwife. I could see it in her eyes. It was, frankly, an immediate and complete and really pretty astonishing transformation. She’s been an amazing mom.

Anyway, I’m not trying to sidetrack from your experiences; rather, to say that you’re not alone in your trepidations and feelings that it’s not quite really real. I remember taking photos of DaLynn just a few days before the baby was born, watching the bulge move around, thinking, I know there’s a baby in there, but I don’t feel like a dad yet. It was still very abstract.

You could call it denial. You could also simply call it the reality of transition: you’re not there yet, but you see the big change coming. Try to enjoy where you are. These are your last days as two.

I don’t know if I ever shared this with you, but I did write a column on a topic pretty close to this. Hope you enjoy; it’s here.

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