At the Mid-City planning meeting this morning, somebody was asking about garbage collection and Shelley Midura was explaining the rules for separating household waste from storm renovation debris.
The questioner said, “If there are rules, publish the rules and we’ll follow them.”
Shelley said the City Council could publicize the rules in newspaper ads.
I injected, “Print them in Spanish!”
This comment was greeted with spontaneous applause from the group.
Another guy, about three rows back from me, responded by calling out, “That was uncalled for. That was totally uncalled for!”
I yelled back, “What the hell are you talking about? If you can’t read English how are you supposed to know?”
Shelley, still on the mic, asked for everyone to embrace unity as we work to rebuild our city.
I was still pissed at the guy three rows back. “You’re gonna try to make me look like a bigot in front of all these people? It’s on, motherfucker!!!” And I leaped across the rows of people, grabbed him by the neck, wrestled him to the ground, and strangled him to death.
OK, that last part didn’t actually happen, but I fantasized about it. Fortunately, the next time the guy spoke, he conceded that he had misunderstood my meaning and he apologized. That was very nice, and I didn’t have to kill him after all.