Back to work today, and it was quite comfortable to be back in my office doing what I do. Cozy, almost. All the familiar faces and routines. And the long list of equipment I requisitioned something like three months ago still isn’t here! Yet another snag — haven’t figured out what it is yet.
As for Fountainebleau yesterday, it was a blissful experience. After six years living here, I finally immersed myself in the waters of Lake Ponchartrain. Locals who grew up and remember a dirty nasty lake might be skeptical, but it certainly seemed clean to me. There’s a nice beach there at the state park, just over the causeway, and the lake is so big you can’t see the other side. That makes it seem kind of like the ocean. If I wade out a long way, the water actually comes up to my waist. Well, it’s better than the ankle-deep water on the Mississippi Gulf Coast. And there’s a stand of old cypress trees that seems almost supernaturally beautiful. There are dead ones a few feet out into the lake itself, draped with living moss swaying in the breeze. Gigantic blue and green dragonflies flitting about.
And as I waded and Xy floated on her inflatable raft, we discussed the idea of maybe — just maybe — having a child someday. I asked Xy about her reservations, fears and misgivings. She mainly seems to be worried about a loss of independence and freedom; specifically there are three areas where her style might be cramped:
- Sleeping in.
- For legal reasons I can’t mention the second reason, so use your imagination.
- Financial worries.
I worry about all those things, too. Well, I don’t sleep quite as much as Xy. I worry about thousands of other things. But I’m profoundly ambivalent. I also cherish many hopes. But all this is trivial. Over the years, I’ve boiled my hopes and fears down to their sheer essence, down to two entirely contradictory and irrefutable arguments. I don’t think I’ve posted about that yet, but I will. Some day. Soon.