This is kind of gross, so don’t read just before dinner.
This morning I entered the men’s room near my office to find the toilet was backed up. I flushed it and it started overflowing. So I asked Michelle to call maintenance, and then headed downstairs to use the men’s room on the fourth floor. The need was pressing.
There was graffiti of the wall of the stall:
Where the cute niggaz who get down?
and other stuff in the same vein.
When I was finished, I stood up, turned to flush, and was surprised to see the Official University Seal floating in the bowl. What the hell? Had someone thrown a brochure in the toilet and I hadn’t noticed when I came in? And wasn’t this a flagrant violation of the Official University Policy regarding the use of the seal?
Then I recognized it and realized what had happened. Somehow, as I pulled my pants up, my little calendar book must have flipped out of my hip pocket and landed in the toilet bowl.
This might seem like a quandary, but really I had no choice. I have a lot of valuable information in that little book — appointments and phone numbers and the like. I’d be lost without it.
So I retrieved it and rinsed it off. It took several rinses before all the fecal matter was off. (Does “fecal matter” sound more or less gross than “pieces of shit”?) Then I laid it out to dry on some paper towels on the floor of my office.
Needless to say I washed my hands repeatedly with lots of soap and hot water. Michelle directed me to the rubber gloves and disinfectant in our first aid kit.
Luckily I have a spare calendar book somewhere. I plan to copy the relevant information into it tomorrow and throw this thing away.
Is it just me, or does shit like this happen to other people?